More "worldly events"...

Ugh feck. I should be doing my coursework, but at the same time I think the concentration involved would genuinely kill me. Well, I've started doing this so I might as well finish.
I find I can actually do this if I talk about the news, or worldly events ... but looking at The Times online, the main global story is something about an insurance company losing money and to be bluntly honest I'm tired of b******t about stocks and what have you. So I'm still a bit stuck when it comes to writing about what's happening if that's the most interesting thing going on.
Well, looking at the next story the headline is; "Routine check 'could have averted' plane crash.
Really...?
No s*** Sherlock.
And the fact is that they've already crashed so it doesn't matter that much anyway. They're on about that Spanair thing if you're wondering.
Ooh, here's a good one;
"UK unemployment rises to nine-year high"
I like it when you get these statistics because;
A. It doesn't affect me in anyway.
B. I technically count in those figures.
C. Everyone moves away from blaming AIDS for all the world problems for a change and instead moves onto Polish people.
The Polish people are always blamed for stealing our jobs and it's quite funny. It's funny because it's only the people that can't actually spell "Polish" that complain when they can only become toilet cleaners, as if somehow they were aspiring to be a Brain Surgeon.
"Devv nickkd aaa jobbbz initt" - I scoff at these people. No, they have not taken your jobs, there are millions of them, just because you've spent your life smoking your homework rather than doing it doesn't entitle you to go on about the Poles all of a sudden. Though it is actually quite funny.
I reckon if I wanted to, I could go out and get me a job in less than an hour, and it wouldn't be a man whore and I wouldn't be in a Tescos car park asking if you wanted your car washing. To be honest I'd probably just go gypsie on you and do it anyway and then pave your car to the space if you didn't pay me...
Oh for crying out loud;
"Dale Winton: No one ever asked if I was gay."
That's like asking if the sun's hot or not.
Anyway, I shall leave you with a completly irrelevant picture because it makes me look like I've put more effort into this;

This is actually a genuine mistake.
I haven't laughed this much in ages.