Boucher on...: I don't really know what to title this.

Firstly, before I start I would just like to take this opportunity to piss myself and cry, from laughter.

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AH. All done.
If you don't know what I'm on about I shall say one word. Nose.
Wait... Sorry, revenge laughing some more...

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If this ever becomes famous and read worldwide by millions (unlikely), I'm sorry that you didn't get my "in" joke. Actually, I'm just sorry if you didn't get my "in" joke altogether, because if you're reading this, you go to Goffs and therefore you are a complete idiot and furthermore a disgrace to mankind. It's not hard to work out, come on.

Well, I'm drained to work out what to right. I shall look to Smarterchild and his infinite wisdom for ideas;

Matthew :D Rome's gonna be great!! 3 days! says:
So smarterchild, what topic do you think I could rant on about in order to make a good blog?

- SmarterChild - *UNICEF contributing to charity says:
People always ask me if there's a smarter bot than SmarterChild. Well, now there is! Add wilma@live.com to your Contact List to see what I mean!

I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

Well okay. He has about THREE whole phrases that he uses as a response so he isn't exactly Stephen Hawkins... See what I did there?... Stephen Hawkins... computerised responses...
Sorry. Haha.

Nevertheless I shall use his advice and add this Wilma that he be speaking of.

Matthew :D Rome's gonna be great!! 3 days! says:
So Wilma, what worldly topics do you think I should talk about in my blogs to make it interesting and appealing to the reader?

- Wilma says:
Hmm. I didn't quite get what you said.
I'm just getting started, so there's a lot I don't know yet. I'm learning new tricks every day!
Here are some things I can help you with.
(I'll show you in the activity window.)

No activity window ever appeared. Well, looks like I'm stuck. I'll go back and do some more...

...WORLDLY EVENTS.

Wow, I can actually feel the wave of people going; "Meh, alright then" in advance. Anyway, from The Times;

'Dreadful' public borrowing figures cast doubt on Darling spending 'splurge'

Trying to give a shit... brain overheating... no... no... sweat pouring... energy reserves draining...
I can't give a shit, awfully sorry.

I'm starting to wonder why people read these stories about money to be honest. They only depress us more than we already are. What do they expect, some guy randomly walking up to the offices of the world bank all tooled up and going "Let's do this shit!" or something?

Next story.

Mother of teenager in Rhys Jones case 'changed alibi to protect her son'

Sorry, I offended someone so I edited this.

I'll go onto the sports news.

Felipe Massa faces extra pressure at home Grand Prix in Brazil, says Lewis Hamilton.
As the Grand Prix was mentioned, I accept no responsibility for injury caused by Ariens speeding semen hurtling past your head.

Bah. I can't even be bothered to talk about the Grand Prix to be honest.
I don't get what fuckheads buy the tickets for the grandstand though. From what I can work out is, you pay £50 for a ticket. Sit there in the boiling heat, cramped by nachos and other sweaty people. And then after about half an hour;
"PHOOOOOMMMM"

Stupid idiots.

Anyway, it seems as though everyone has a blog now. Arien, Andrew, Jack, Sarah, Juliet, and Chris. His is very good, he managed an entire fourteen words in until he mentioned Juliet! I've even heard talk of a certain Hannah Bray getting one... Okay, that's not everyone. Including me, that's seven... possibly eight people who have them. Ariens and mine are the most original. Arien's more so because the idea in the first place for me doing these was because of his blog. So credit to him. Even though I've done twice the amounts of blogs he has.

Obviously, mine kicks all their asses, runs around the world and then kicks them again. Because I am Matthew, and from the Hubble space telescope you can see me orbiting my own ego.

Thank you for taking the time for reading this. I am grateful.

Ah, see the politeness? It got me through the lunch queue twice as quick as normal.

Wow;