Again, for about the eighty fifth millionth time this year, something has gone wrong with my technology. Unsurprisingly, this is my Xbox. Ever since Microsoft installed the new layout it has decided to not work on HD because it is an obvious bellend. And so furthermore, it is deemed rubbish.
Meh, this doesn't really matter though as it was Christmas, and so I was too busy eating chocolates and laughing at the Queens speech to care about it all that much.
Bah, that woman. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't like the royal family. The Queen for example, for sitting on her backside all day, excrementing upper class poos into her upper class lavatory (I just got that mental image as well, sorry) and once in a while going out to shopping centres to cut the ribbon... she gets millions of pounds from our pockets, a big, big house and everyone loves her. She doesn't even come from here either, her family's German, which means she should go around sounding like a rottweiler, but she still manages to sound like the biggest ponce in the history of the world.
So, with her little white gloves and curly hair, she thinks that every Christmas, she has the right to sit there, and give us her views on the world, so that every person above the age of about 70, anyone called Jeremy or Tarquin, or anyone who is American can sit there with their mince pies and try to give a crap about what she thinks.
I remember a few months back, I went to Buckingham palace, conveniently placed no-where near Buckinghamshire, and for a short moment I thought I'd walked in on the Marge Simpson tribute society, who for some reason, have to stand outside her palace and are not allowed to move at all. This means they have to stand there looking like twats whilst Japanese people take photos with them, which apparently is a symbol of how great our country is. I mean, in all my knowledge of past wars, I have never heard of the winning side being dressed as pipe cleaners, and camouflaging into the surroundings by wearing bright red... but according to the Queen this is "formal attire".
I wouldn't care all that much if the Queen had ever done anything to deserve that crown, apart from sit there listening to her mothers Ali G impressions, but the truth is she hadn't. Even her whole family is as dumb as crud. Basically, as you can imagine, the whole royal family has been to Eton, but they still all come out with B's in their A levels. Remember, this is Eton... your not even allowed to get B's there, even if a dog was educated there it'd be frowned upon if it didn't completely own every other dog in the world.
Then, as you can imagine again, the whole family go on to Oxford or Cambridge and probably studied something stupidly formal, along with Jeremy and Tarquin, who also go there, whilst their inner city dads sit there and make stupid amounts of money back in London.
Now, a few blogs ago I talked about the Chav population and how their crappy music shouldn't exist and how they're all violent twats. However, it's okay because they'll all be working in McDonald's or cleaning my toilet one day. Upper class people on the other hand, such as the Queen, her family and Jeremy and Tarquin all have a certain smugness to them. They're all huge bastards, all too over smug, and they all seem to like playing Polo.
However, the worst thing of all... apart from obviously having the amazing ability to eat a single meal over the space of about two hours with about 500 different bits of cutlery is that I'm going to be working for them when I'm older.
They're completely dumb, they're completely stuck up, they have stupidly dumb names. But unlike the Chavs, they're rich. Which means that when they walk into their job interview, the employer looks at their CV and as soon as he reads, "Lord King Earl Sir Bartholomew Tippet XIV The Rich" he then emits a noise sounding something like "KERCHING" and cleans the pen of lower class bacterium so that they can sign the contract.
It's stupid. I hope they all die of Gout.
Thankyou...
Meh, this doesn't really matter though as it was Christmas, and so I was too busy eating chocolates and laughing at the Queens speech to care about it all that much.
Bah, that woman. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't like the royal family. The Queen for example, for sitting on her backside all day, excrementing upper class poos into her upper class lavatory (I just got that mental image as well, sorry) and once in a while going out to shopping centres to cut the ribbon... she gets millions of pounds from our pockets, a big, big house and everyone loves her. She doesn't even come from here either, her family's German, which means she should go around sounding like a rottweiler, but she still manages to sound like the biggest ponce in the history of the world.
So, with her little white gloves and curly hair, she thinks that every Christmas, she has the right to sit there, and give us her views on the world, so that every person above the age of about 70, anyone called Jeremy or Tarquin, or anyone who is American can sit there with their mince pies and try to give a crap about what she thinks.
I remember a few months back, I went to Buckingham palace, conveniently placed no-where near Buckinghamshire, and for a short moment I thought I'd walked in on the Marge Simpson tribute society, who for some reason, have to stand outside her palace and are not allowed to move at all. This means they have to stand there looking like twats whilst Japanese people take photos with them, which apparently is a symbol of how great our country is. I mean, in all my knowledge of past wars, I have never heard of the winning side being dressed as pipe cleaners, and camouflaging into the surroundings by wearing bright red... but according to the Queen this is "formal attire".
I wouldn't care all that much if the Queen had ever done anything to deserve that crown, apart from sit there listening to her mothers Ali G impressions, but the truth is she hadn't. Even her whole family is as dumb as crud. Basically, as you can imagine, the whole royal family has been to Eton, but they still all come out with B's in their A levels. Remember, this is Eton... your not even allowed to get B's there, even if a dog was educated there it'd be frowned upon if it didn't completely own every other dog in the world.
Then, as you can imagine again, the whole family go on to Oxford or Cambridge and probably studied something stupidly formal, along with Jeremy and Tarquin, who also go there, whilst their inner city dads sit there and make stupid amounts of money back in London.
Now, a few blogs ago I talked about the Chav population and how their crappy music shouldn't exist and how they're all violent twats. However, it's okay because they'll all be working in McDonald's or cleaning my toilet one day. Upper class people on the other hand, such as the Queen, her family and Jeremy and Tarquin all have a certain smugness to them. They're all huge bastards, all too over smug, and they all seem to like playing Polo.
However, the worst thing of all... apart from obviously having the amazing ability to eat a single meal over the space of about two hours with about 500 different bits of cutlery is that I'm going to be working for them when I'm older.
They're completely dumb, they're completely stuck up, they have stupidly dumb names. But unlike the Chavs, they're rich. Which means that when they walk into their job interview, the employer looks at their CV and as soon as he reads, "Lord King Earl Sir Bartholomew Tippet XIV The Rich" he then emits a noise sounding something like "KERCHING" and cleans the pen of lower class bacterium so that they can sign the contract.
It's stupid. I hope they all die of Gout.
Thankyou...
7 comments:
i think I'm the hippy you mean... but I'm not a hippy. i just think your a negative twat about everything you write. I won't deny it, whevever you have a new blog i always have a read...but i come back feeling incredibly disappointed everytime, you don't ever have a lighter note to anything, can't you try write something positive for once?
Hum...sarcasm is one thing... but its gets to the point beyond funny where you just make people resent the world and its very very lame... ah i love how a few simple words can make someone so agitated.
Peace out x
single are we?
Is it possible for you to write anthing positive? I mean fair enough have a moan here and there but all your blogs are full of complaining you seem to manage to make even the best thingssound bad.
I can't be called what you'd refer to as a "friend," to Mr Boucher. I'm reletively disgusted to admit that some of the blogs I read from him are incredibly funny. Having read what, as he's refering to "Mrs Hippy" has been writing has actually really annoyed me, as it reminds me of someone who's been writing similar things to myself. I haven't been on my own account in ages, and I can't remember the password otherwise I'd be moaning about what a wanker they clearly are on my own account. I think it's weird how you've taken it so personally in calling Boucher a "twat" or "wanker."
If you don't like the blogs I truly don't understand why you read them. The solution is simple; stop reading the blogs.
It's people like you and my own personal fucker who's been critising me, who're the negative ones.
Using negative humour isn't written for the purpose of being negative, it's written in order to amuse people, therefore for a POSITIVE response.
You obviously have the humour of a foreskin, and you're probably the same person who's been critising my own writing. If so; fuck you.
Dear Anonymos chum up there. would just like to assure you, I only comment this blog =)
Have a nice day
Why thankyou!
To the person who did that long comment. At first when I skim read I thought you were having a go at me!
Having a go at my blog... fancy that.
I think I know who you are...
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