Eh.

I'm in a pissed off mood at the moment, so sorry if I come over as offensive, I don't mean it. Well, of course I do, but pretend I don't ... or I'm in even deeper shit than I already am...
I would like to start with a mere fact.
Well, this is when I've found one, I don't exactly plan these...
Oh f*** it, I'll just look at the news again.
Looking at the main news of The Times, it says;
Bush tells the world: 'We got a big problem'
Nahhhhh... really? You could have fooled me!
I didn't notice that every single f****** bank in the world is suddenly going bankrupt at the same time! It's not like ... the only thing on the news at the moment! Wow George, you surprised me there.
What's your next declaration going to be, eh? "We've invaded Somethingistan, because they cussed my mum..." It wouldn't surprise me.
What's even more annoying is the fact is that he's been at war against the same bloody country for about seven years now, and he still cannot pronounce it.
"Our troops are doing fine in ... Eye-raq"
Anyway, while he's busy nicking every ones oil and slowly ruining the U.S.A., The Sun came up with this;
"JET MAN BLASTS INTO RECORD BOOKS"
Right, the kind of women that would read The Sun would probably be called Chebaz.
Chebaz doesn't care about attention seekers jumping off high things and flying over the channel, Chebaz wants to see what kind of liquidised cabbage Jordan drank today as a pose to something that we call food, so she flips to page 40 something and sits there comfort eating for the rest of the day because she is so fat and Jordan isn't. "Obesity is an illness." - Yeah, I was so f****** ill that I had nine Yorkies in a row. Oh the pain. The excruciating pain.
As a pose to this, the kind of man that would read this would probably be called Bo.
Yes, it's a name ... apparently.
Bo has been working at McDonald's all day, surrounded by greasy haired people, and hoicking burgers at the fat people so they don't die of hunger pangs (I swear, if you didn't feed them quickly enough at McDonald's, they'd grow around the counter like amoebas)
Anyway, Bo has been working all day, and when he finishes he decides he wants to pick up (steal)the paper from the corner shop on the way to get his Cannabis.
He gets home and puts on a convincing act to his wife that he is actually reading the paper, more to the fact that he CAN read the paper.
Bo then wants to go to the toilet for no apparent reason, and comes out 15 minutes later looking remarkably relived, he also seems to have "tippexed" page three...
Oh my good god...
On this page where I got this story there is a comment for people to express their opinions on this "amazing" feat.
I didn't expect;
Tarquin McPoshposh :"What a glorious feat of modern engineering, I was completely baffled!"
Because this is the Sun ... the readers don't have the mental capacity to be baffled.
But this just takes the biscuit;
"what if he needed toilet"
Well, Dumb McFlemnoob, he'd probably have to hold it for the whole 25 minutes that he was in the air. And I think the guy who invented this would have enough brainpower to go for a wee before he went.
F***tard.
Anyway, I conclude that The Sun is bought for boobs and George Bush is a terd.
That is all.