I have yet to realise why I did this

But what the 'eck;
Matthew got up as he did every morning and went downstairs to get his breakfast. For some reason cereals always tasted much worse in the mornings than it did in the evenings, but regardless he ate them like he hadn’t eaten food before and then went back upstairs to have a shower. He also hated showers, or at least his one, it was the sort that you could never get into without boiling or freezing, or the sort that always seemed to be concentrated on only one part of your body, and therefore didn’t get you wet until you’ve done every dance move in existence.
After his long and annoying shower he decided to get dressed into the even more annoying school uniform that couldn’t stay in a room for about 10 seconds without somehow getting a stain of some sort on it. Because Matthew was stupidly tall, his blazer was always too small on the sleeves. He tried one the fitted on the sleeves once and ended up looking rather like a fat homosexual.
So eventually, after running around the house looking for his history book (which was the ONLY book that he ever misplaced for a yet unknown reason), Matthew left for school. Well he didn’t leave, he half jogged, half walked it because he left at 8:05 because he is a stupid berk. This mean’s he had to do just less than 2 miles in 25 minutes, which was just silly. This stupid and irrelevant slow jogging was further exacerbated by the fact that he was carrying his rugby kit and the studs in his boots were magnetically attracted to his legs through his bag, so every time his arm swung, the stud would hit him and it would be rather painful.
Thankyou.